A new start
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The title says it all...
Today is the 1 year anniversary of my mom's funeral. Not her death - that was last friday, and I took the day to myself for the most part.
Today, on the other hand, no time for myself. I got to my office (day two in my new professorial office) at 8:15 AM, went to New Faculty Orientation at 9 AM. I then got back to my office for a 1 hour break from 4-5 and then went to the new faculty BBQ. The title of the new blog says it all.
I don't know how to make the old page automatically redirect. I'm assuming that since I'm just on a leave of absence (geez I wish I were done), my its account will be active for awhile. But a new start really sounded good on many levels. It was really hard today to deal with the fact that life has moved on. My mom's death hasn't been the center of my life for awhile now. The fact that right around the 1 year anniversary of her death, I've driven across country, moved into a new apartment and started a new job is really kind of weird. For so long I was compartmentalizing, or perhaps I wasn't compartmentalizing and that was the problem. There's something that feels kind of icky about just going to work and making small talk with my colleagues on what is sort of a momentous day. But I didn't think about her funeral while I was at work or at the barbecue. It's only when I've been by myself... this morning before getting here, my short break and now, that I can't get that image out of my head. Of course it's not one single image but a series of them.
For the first time in my life I'm really living alone. Although I've lived in my own apartment before, it was in Ruddock. Pretty hard to feel lonely there.
I'm tired and rambling. My body, at least for the last few days, has thought it was still on Pacific time. Being this tired should help me convert tonight. Instead of blogging I should be doing one of the hundred things on my to-do list (you may think I'm exaggerating about how long it is, but I'm not. Not all of the tasks need to be done today or tomorrow or within the next week, but planning 4 lectures a week, two lab sections a week, the assorted assignments and trying to finish my research and write my thesis are all going to keep me really, really, really busy this fall).
It may be a brand new start, but one thing hasn't changed. I'm still going to be working hard and very tired.
Goodnight.
Today, on the other hand, no time for myself. I got to my office (day two in my new professorial office) at 8:15 AM, went to New Faculty Orientation at 9 AM. I then got back to my office for a 1 hour break from 4-5 and then went to the new faculty BBQ. The title of the new blog says it all.
I don't know how to make the old page automatically redirect. I'm assuming that since I'm just on a leave of absence (geez I wish I were done), my its account will be active for awhile. But a new start really sounded good on many levels. It was really hard today to deal with the fact that life has moved on. My mom's death hasn't been the center of my life for awhile now. The fact that right around the 1 year anniversary of her death, I've driven across country, moved into a new apartment and started a new job is really kind of weird. For so long I was compartmentalizing, or perhaps I wasn't compartmentalizing and that was the problem. There's something that feels kind of icky about just going to work and making small talk with my colleagues on what is sort of a momentous day. But I didn't think about her funeral while I was at work or at the barbecue. It's only when I've been by myself... this morning before getting here, my short break and now, that I can't get that image out of my head. Of course it's not one single image but a series of them.
For the first time in my life I'm really living alone. Although I've lived in my own apartment before, it was in Ruddock. Pretty hard to feel lonely there.
I'm tired and rambling. My body, at least for the last few days, has thought it was still on Pacific time. Being this tired should help me convert tonight. Instead of blogging I should be doing one of the hundred things on my to-do list (you may think I'm exaggerating about how long it is, but I'm not. Not all of the tasks need to be done today or tomorrow or within the next week, but planning 4 lectures a week, two lab sections a week, the assorted assignments and trying to finish my research and write my thesis are all going to keep me really, really, really busy this fall).
It may be a brand new start, but one thing hasn't changed. I'm still going to be working hard and very tired.
Goodnight.
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