A new start

A quote from the Tao Te Ching seems to reflect my perspective on our Government's handling of the disaster along the Gulf:

DailyTao.org
Saturday, 3 September, 2005 :: 17

When the Master governs, the people
are hardly aware that he exists.
Next best is a leader who is loved.
Next, one who is feared.
The worst is one who is despised.

If you don't trust the people,
you make them untrustworthy.

The Master doesn't talk, he acts.
When his work is done,
the people say, Amazing: we did it, all by ourselves!

Translation by Stephen Mitchel.
DailyTao.org Widget by Glen Sanford

Part II:

Nothing really reminds me of my dorky, unpopular state in my adolescence like sitting at home on a Friday night (in Michigan) taking care of my nephew so my sister can go out with friends and my dad can go out on a date (well, he hasn't left yet, but he's been talking about going out tonight).

I know I have tons of friends. It just so happens that none of them are in Michigan and very few are in Minnesota.

This trip home, for me, was supposed to be about remembering my mom. On the 26th, my dad and sister hosted a bbq for both sides of the family. This weekend, we have one bbq for each side of the family. And it just doesn't feel like it's really about remembering my mom. Of course I don't need a formal event to remember my mom. I've spent so much time with my nephew though, and no time alone in the house, so I don't feel like I've had the chance to really reflect on my grief, my mom and my family.

It used to be that I'd go hide in which ever bedroom I was staying in when I'd come home to visit. I'd be tense and wouldn't really want to spend too much time with my family. I really regret that adolescent reaction that lasted a little too long for me. My mom and I used to have a great time just sitting by ourselves watching tv at night. Once she got sick though, she'd go to bed much earlier so we didn't really get that time together. So many missed opportunities.

Before, I could feel my dad's sadness that I wasn't spending time with them. At some point in the last two years I started to make sure I really spent time with the family. This visit, I've hardly spent any time with my dad.

I got into town Thursday night around 8 PM Eastern time. My dad and Bobby picked me up and we spent Thursday evening together...got ice cream from ColdStone Creamery (I'm really going to miss that - there's no ColdStone near me at all in MN). And then yesterday, my dad had to work and my sister had to work last night. My dad went out on a date (he didn't tell us it was a date until afterward, when he got home at 1:30 :-P ). But he left for the date relatively early in the day, and I had to run errands for my sister so we hardly overlapped at all at home.

Today he got up early to go bike riding with his friend Kimberly (not the woman he went out with...she's just a friend. I have yet to meet her, though). Then he came home and was really tired, so I was babysitting Bobby. When we came inside, my dad wanted to sleep so he went upstairs. Then I was pooped and took a nap while my dad was getting ready for the BBQ. Family came over...generally a good time. Ever since the family left, he's been in the basement talking to his new friend(s) or on the computer. It used to be that he'd never hang out somewhere else in the house if I were downstairs. But tonight I'm sitting here alone on the couch.

I miss both of my parents.