A new start

I kicked 2/3 of my class out today for not coming prepared. I don't regret the decision, but I had a really hard time doing it and doing it without apology. I know that it was completely my prerogative, but I'm still not comfortable with being on the other end of the power dynamic that I've been part of for 24 years.

Wow - as I type this, I'm watching the Colbert Report and he's interviewing Norah Vincent. If you don't know who she is, she's a lesbian who dressed as a man for a significant period of time and actually developed some emotional issues from the experience and ended up receiving intensive mental health care. Anyways, she just made a comment about one of the big differences between her female self and her male alter-ego was that "Ned" didn't apologize for everything (like returning the wrong order of food at a restaurant). I'm oh so familiar with that issue - I can't stop apologizing.

Sorry, I'm too tired to write anymore :-P

I can't really think of anything to write, which is a little weird. But I've been missing everyone from California so much that I figured I should post and inform people that I'm still alive.

Summary of my life:

Dave and I are still together.

I am still teaching at Gustavus

I bought a couch this month.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I've been crocheting a lot.

Ummm.....that seems to be it. I've realized that I really need a more stimulating environment than a small town. There really is nothing going on in my life to write about.

I don't know that teaching is for me. At least not at a school like Gustavus. So many of the students are just here to go to college not really to learn. Maybe I'm idealizing my student-self, but I remember being really excited about learning new things. Maybe I'm just a really bad, boring professor. I don't know, but as excited as I was about my Fairy Tales class...the students don't seem that excited. They have this look on their faces that says "I'd rather be at the dentist than here thinking about feminist (ewww...I can't believe she uses the word feminism so often) theory as it relates to children's literature." Wait, their expressions don't say that...their expressions are too blank to say that. Friday is the last day of the Jan Term. Then I get a week off, during which I NEED to work my ass off on research. I'll go to Rochester for a couple of days that week to spend my birthday with Dave. Then, spring term starts - I'm teaching Organic Chemistry lab (ICK - I don't know whether it's going to be more painful for me or for my students...Organic was not my strongest subject), Quantum Mechanics and Chemistry in Context (chem for non-majors). Only one person signed up for my quantum course (apparently taking Thermo with me was, in fact, as painful as I feared) so it's not going to be a typical course - more like an independent study for the student.

Okay, my grammar sucks and I don't have anything profound to say, so I'm going to go grade other people's writing. I miss you all and am going to try to post more often, especially since my life is going to undergo some not so minor changes over the next few months.